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Grief Recovery Services
"Stop hurting! Start HEALING! Restore your inner peace & happiness!" (Arrange a session TODAY!)
"Death really isn't anything to get upset about. Admittedly, it's a little more radical than puberty, but it's nothing to be sad about. What's really sad is that most people never really learn how to live." ~ Socrates (Peaceful Warrior)
As you've probably already discovered by now, life's full of expansions and contractions; duality and contrast. This is what creates options, choices, decisions, challenges, dramas, risks, dangers and adventures. They inspire, motivate and spur us into action. Without these fundamental cornerstones firmly in place, our lives would become predictable and pretty boring. Thus, we need the "OH SHIT!!" factor to mix things up a bit to make the journey interesting and to keep us getting out of bed each morning, just to see what's next!
"If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at will change!"
~ Dr. Wayne Dyer
When we experience something that compliments and adds value to our lives, our natural state of inner-peace and happiness is enhanced and expanded. But, if you stick around in this world long enough, eventually, you'll also experience the contrast to this feeling in the way of some form of significant loss.
A significant loss can be seen as a milestone we need to force us to access our strengths and identify and address our weaknesses. Or, we can use it as a SIFI (Self-Imposed False Identity) to define ourselves; justify our actions, and validate our existence in the world.
"Significant Loss" applies to OVER FORTY different life-changing experiences, such as...
- Birthdays, especially ones ending in "0's" and "5's"
- Death
- Mid-life Crisis / Aging
- Accomplishments & Failures
- Declining health
- Divorce & Break-ups
- Empty-nest syndrome
- Unfulfilled Dreams & Goals
- Natural Disasters
- Career Change
- Mental-pause
- Overcoming Addictions
- Weight Loss/Gain
- Job Loss
- Re-homing / Losing a Pet
- Change in Living Arrangements
- Starting School & Graduation
- Financial Changes, either a dramatic increase or decrease
- Retirement
- Relocation / Loss of Home
- Miscarriage / Abortion
- Disfigurement
- Change in Appearance
- Legal Issues
- ... etc...
With such a huge variety of different forms of losses available to choose from, the question is not really a matter of "IF" you'll manifest or experience one or more significant losses throughout your lifetime, but rather, "WHEN" it WILL happen to you!
As a rule, most humans tend to only associate significant loss and grief with the transition process from the physical to the non-physical realm; oftentimes grimly referred to as "Death". (Life's ultimate escape plan!) The rest are blindly shoved aside as if they don't matter, when in fact, they sometimes matter a whole lot more than we're willing to admit!
We know people and pets die. On some level, we expect that to happen. We don't expect to get ambushed with grief over things like our child's first day at school or an unfulfilled dream. Over time, those little "deaths" add up and compound matters. Then, when we lose someone we love to death, the compilation of these little deaths that we've been denying all those years, hits us full on with a "High-speed meltdown from Hell". This is known as "Complicated Grief".
Private Sessions Available by Phone or Video Chat
No matter where you find yourself during this incredibly difficult time, this invaluable "Grief Recovery" service is available to assist those who are suffering from significant loss of ANY kind; from death to divorce and everything in-between, who would benefit from the courage, strength and wisdom of an experienced "End of the Trail" Shamanic Spirit Guide.
Losing someone we love, whether it be an animal companion or human, is an incredibly serious and traumatic event. Death can trigger a "Fight, Flight, Freeze or Fawn" trauma response.
Unaddressed trauma of this kind will NOT go away on its own! In fact, the stress from this form of trauma causes the body's system to be flooded with specific hormones that cause changes in behavior, sleep patterns, and even memory-loss. It will also eventually compromise the immune system, making the process of getting on with your life, even harder. It increases blood pressure and heart rate and can literally cause it to BREAK! (Yes. Broken heart syndrome is a real thing!)
If you're trapped in the icy clutches of Grief, where hopelessness, despair and emptiness are your only friends, be aware that despite what others will tell you, time does NOT heal anything!
It's what YOU do WITH that time that will determine the outcome of your life's journey! Put an end to the overwhelming sadness and endless river of tears!
Stop hurting! Start healing! Click on the link below and take charge of your life by restoring your inner-peace and happiness TODAY!
Grief Recovery Services
"Whether or not we like it, NO ONE gets out of here alive!" ~ George Carlin
Some leave way too soon. Others, not soon enough! (You know who you are!) Whatever the case may be, however tragic, dramatic, painful or peaceful the departure, the hardest part for the deceased is over; but for most (not all) of the survivors, the nightmare has just begun.
Due to a variety of reasons, mostly fear of the unknown and/or possible lack of experience, few know how to deal with significant loss with any semblance of grace. They tend to fumble through it; secretly praying that others are right when they say that "Time heals all things". The problem with this approach is that...
"TIME does NOT heal all things, least of all grief! It's what YOU do with that time, that will determine if you recover or not!"
Are YOU "Just Not Dying"?
"If you allow fear to control your decisions in life, you're NOT really living; You're just NOT dying."
The reason most people don't know how to live is because they're too busy trying to avoid loss and/or death. Their fears are now what controls their decisions in life. The end result is that they're NOT really living! They're just not dying. That's called, "Existing". Then, when the inevitable happens and they're faced with yet another significant loss, they collect more evidence to support their fears and risk completely losing themselves and their personal power to Grief... FOREVER!
FIGHT! FLIGHT! Or... FREEZE!!
Overwhelmed by a tsunami of feelings (most of which don't feel good), they find themselves faced with conflicting inner forces and have no idea how to move beyond them, least of all, maintain any semblance of order. This chaotic and unnatural state of being can get so out of control that, to the observer, it appears the bereaved (many of whom don't even realize they've been overcome by Grief) are suffering some form of psychosis or other mental disorder, rather than from a broken heart.
The Dark Night of the Soul
"Grief may be normal, but it's NOT natural!"
When one's need to go within to heal is ignored for too long, if they follow their Shadow Wolf into the Wilderness, it will begin to feast upon the carnage left in the wake of significant loss. Once separated from White Wolf, Shadow Wolf will develop an insatiable appetite and stalk its prey from the recesses of the mind; waiting for its moment to strike when least expected.
Significant losses can send us on a journey into the Wilderness to a place that many fear, called "The Dark Night of the Soul". Here, the distance between ourselves, White Wolf and Great Spirit is great. It is then that we're the most vulnerable and can easily get caught off-guard. At that point, overcome with confusion and exhaustion, it's easy to get ambushed and fall into victim-consciousness. We'll resist getting close to others; refusing to enjoy our lives (survivor's guilt); reject our happiness, and make irrational decisions that we know we'll regret later. Or, we'll sit on the fence about everything, secretly terrified that one false move will result in suffering yet another, horrific blow.
With so many different forms of loss, sometimes happening back-to-back, effecting everyone and everything in its wake, a Shadow Wolf CAN bring down even the bravest and strongest of warriors! With their broken hearts shattered in a million pieces before them, a desperate attempt may be made to collect themselves- Unfortunately, each grasp at the memories that once brought joy, now serve to be little more than bitter painful reminders of the mind-numbing carnage they just endured.
After the numbness wears off, many find themselves drowning in a sea of tears filled with shards of hopelessness, loneliness, abandonment, betrayal, empty promises and unfulfilled dreams. The future, that once appeared so bright and full of promise, stares back at them an empty, blank canvas, void of possibilities.
In addition to having suffered significant loss, it would seem as if they've lost their minds, too. In true Trickster (Heyoka) fashion, Shadow Wolf will convince the bereaved that they're now separate from Great Spirit and White Wolf, who both seemingly vanished, no thanks to Shadow Wolf's ability to mimic a spiritual eclipse. Shadow Wolf will work hard to create the illusion that only s/he is now their only friend- the one who will never abandon them, even in their darkest hour.
Well meaning (REAL) friends and family may encourage (or even insist) the bereaved seek professional (medical) help. Many times, there's a hidden agenda behind this counsel that is more selfish than benevolent; for in truth, THEY'RE the ones who cannot handle the tremendous, overwhelming sorrow erupting from the depth of the survivor who's struggling to "Deal with it".
Additionally, because grief is an uncomfortable condition for everyone (including the bereaved!), survivors feel pressured into being strong and to just "Get on with their lives", by others. If they'd only just pretend as if nothing ever happened, it'd be great. But, BEWARE if they ever reach the point of critical mass and are no longer able to comply with other's insane demand to feel comfortable!
Thankfully, there's always a magic pill that will put an end to the infidel's refusal to acquiesce to the "Religion of Denial", where the followers go skipping through the forest, flinging daisies everywhere, chanting "La-La-La It's all good!". If nothing else, a little medication will make the bereaved much easier to control and deal with, and stop pushing the observer/s past their own comfort zone!
What the observer/s may fail to consciously realize is that they too, are ALSO suffering from the fallout of Grief. Perhaps not in the same way, nor to the same degree as their loved one. However, whenever another is expressing themselves in a way that makes us uncomfortable, it brings up our own unresolved issues. In an attempt to prevent this from happening, the typical "reaction" is either to abandon the bereaved or control the course of the situation/conversation, before everyone ends up in tears.
Big Pharma has wasted no time in capitalizing on this wide-spread plague by creating solution in the form of one of those aforementioned magic pills! (But, please try to ignore the laundry list of side-effects, like DEPRESSION and SUICIDE!)
For those who can't afford insurance or pharmaceutical drugs, to the delight of fermented (and demented?) vineyards and brewery stockholders everywhere, who boast of record profits with each new day, there's always the mighty magic elixir that we all KNOW makes EVERYTHING better!
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"Grief is normal and natural. (Normal, maybe- but natural? NO!) It is NOT a pathological condition OR a personality disorder. Grief is often mislabeled as ADHD, Depression, PTSD, and many other pathological conditions. Sadly, if you misdiagnose, you WILL mistreat. These mislabeled Grievers are then incorrectly put on various medications, which will get in the way of recovering from loss."
~ Guide for Loss
Symptoms of Unresolved Grief
FIGHT? FLIGHT? FREEZE or FAWN?
Fight or flight is a well-known stress response that occurs when hormones are released in your body, prompting you to stay and fight or run and flee danger. If your body perceives itself to be in trouble, your system will work to keep you alive.
Fight, flight, freeze, and fawn are a broader collection of natural bodily reactions to stressful, frightening, or dangerous events. Death, especially one that is tragic, can trigger this reaction and if left unresolved, can leave us feeling like we're in a constant state of struggle vs survival. Our sympathetic nervous system response dates back to our ancestors coming face-to-face with dangerous animals, and perceived enemies.
What Is Fight, Flight, or Freeze?
Fight, flight or freeze are the three most basic stress responses. They reflect how your body will react to danger. Fawn is the fourth stress response that was identified later. The fight response is your body’s way of facing any perceived threat aggressively.
- Flight means your body urges you to run from danger. But, if you can't rely on fight or flight, it's like having one foot on the gas and the other on the brake. This leads to us to become immobilized.
- Freeze is your body’s inability to move or act against a threat.
- Fawn is your body’s stress response to try to please someone to avoid conflict.
The goal of the fight, flight, freeze, and fawn response is to decrease, end, or evade danger and return to a calm, relaxed state.
What Is Fight or Flight?
In fight or flight mode, your brain is preparing for a physical response.
FIGHT
When your body feels that it is in danger and believes you can overpower the threat, you’ll respond in fight mode. Your brain releases signals to your body, preparing it for the physical demands of fighting.
Signs of a fight response include:
- Tight jaw
- Grinding your teeth
- Urge to punch something or someone
- A feeling of intense anger
- Need to stomp or kick
- Crying in anger
- A burning or knotted sensation in your stomach
- Attacking the source of danger
FLIGHT
If your body believes you cannot overcome the danger but can avoid it by running away, you’ll respond in flight mode. A surge of hormones, like adrenaline, give your body the stamina to run from danger longer than you typically could.
Signs of a flight response include:
- Excessive exercising
- Feeling fidgety, tense, or trapped
- Trying to control the course of a conversation so that you feel more comfortable (telling others what to say or attacking them for speaking their truth)
- Constantly moving your legs, feet, and arms
- Restless body
- Feeling of numbness in your arms and legs
- Dilated, darting eyes
FREEZE
This stress response causes you to feel stuck in place. This response happens when your body doesn’t think you can fight or flight.
Signs of the freeze response include:
- Sense of dread
- Pale skin
- Feeling stiff, heavy, cold, and numb
- Loud, pounding heart
- Decreasing heart rate
FAWN
This response is used after an unsuccessful fight, flight, or freeze attempt. The fawn response occurs primarily in people who grew up in abusive families or situations.
Signs of a fawn response include:
- Over-agreement
- Trying to be overly helpful
- Primary concern with making someone else happy
What Causes the Fawn Response?
The fawn response often covers up distress and damage you’re feeling inside due to trauma. Fawning is a common reaction to childhood abuse. The fawn response is your body’s emotional reaction that involves becoming highly agreeable to the person abusing you. The fawn response can cause confusion and guilt if you have PTSD. Even if you’re being treated poorly, your instinct drives you to soothe your abuser instead of resorting to the flight or fight response.
Signs of fawning behavior include:
- Over-dependence on the opinions of others
- Overly concerned with the need for social acceptance
- Little to no boundaries, having a hard time saying no to others
- Vulnerability to narcissists
- Being easily controlled and manipulated
- Difficulty identifying your feelings
- Needing to please others
- Feeling guilt, shame and/or self-anger/loathing
- Feeling a lack of identity
The fawn response is believed to occur in people who grew up with narcissistic parents. You may have been neglected or rejected constantly as a child. Being helpful and agreeable was the only means of survival. The problem with the fawn response is that it can cause codependent adults and make you lose your sense of identity.
What to Know About the Acute Stress Response
Many different reactions are happening in your body during an acute stress response. Some of these reactions occur during any type of stress response, and some are specific to the type of response.
The following can be parts of a stress response:
- Heart rate and blood pressure increase
- Pale or flushed skin
- Temporary loss of blunt pain response
- Dilated pupils
- Feeling of being on edge
- Distorted memories of the event
- Tenseness or trembling
- Involuntary control of your bowels or bladder
Whether you’re in physical danger or psychological danger, your body will start triggering a stress response. This reaction starts in your amygdala, which is the section of your brain responsible for fear. The amygdala transmits signals to your hypothalamus, stimulating the autonomic nervous system. Then, your sympathetic system stimulates your adrenal glands to trigger adrenaline and noradrenaline hormones.
How to Control the Fight or Flight Response
Anxiety disorders, especially grief and PTSD, can trigger your fight or flight response even during situations that don’t put you in danger. Unfortunately, there are detrimental effects of this chronic stress. The problem that triggers a stress response varies from person to person. However, some environmental or health conditions can be associated with the response. Stress management is an integral part of improving your overall health.
Identifying your psychical, emotional, and behavioral signs of stress can help you analyze and work to overcome them. This will help you determine if you’re truly facing a threat or if your nervous system is overreacting.
If stress impacts your quality of life, there are many things you can do on your own to help yourself take back control of your life.
There are three techniques you can use to ground you to the present and help you overcome your stress response.
Mental grounding techniques include:
- Focusing on your environment
- Getting present, using the PPM technique that you can learn in "The Way of the Wakȟáŋ" training. (*Coming soon.)
- Reciting empowering songs, poetry, or affirmations
- Reminding yourself you’re safe with safety statements
- Doing mental calculations
- Visualizing overcoming your fears
Physical grounding techniques include:
- Breathing and focusing on your speed and steadiness
- Touching or holding onto an object tightly
- Putting weight on your heels and physically connecting with the ground
- Tensing your body and focusing on slowly releasing it from your forehead to your toes
- Remove your shoes and socks and go walk barefoot on the earth
Soothing grounding techniques include:
- Thinking about your happy place and relaxing there
- Treating yourself to something comforting or joyful
- Repeating coping statements
- Speaking positive affirmations
Reboot your system by conducting a juice or water fast for a few days. When you break your fast consider adopting an organic vegan diet for 90 days and see how you feel. If you include things like yoga, breath-work, sweat lodges, and even signing up for a vision quest or dark retreat (or both!) you'll launch your spirit beyond carnal coping skills and will be surprised at how differently you'll handle similar events in the future! At the very least, by reducing or eliminating social media altogether, and silencing the information overwhelm, you'll find your mind will be clearer and your ability to focus will be greatly improved.
(*Parts of this informative article can be found on WebMd)
Pain IS inevitable. Suffering is OPTIONAL!
"Spirituality is about relieving human suffering. ALL suffering is caused by Grief, NOT attachment!"
For those who lack the resources, skills or tools, or completely fail to take healthy, proactive measures to slay these inner-demons, the internal battle against Grief can rage on for what may feel like eternity (weeks, months, years and even DECADES!); negatively impacting every aspect of their lives, including their personal relationships, careers and all they've worked so hard to achieve. Its massive negative impact on society effects our decisions, how we interact with each other, where we spend our hard earned money and what we give our attention to or ignore altogether. It fuels hate, creates wars and is responsible for a majority of humanity's suffering.
Despite popular misconception, grief is NOT clinical depression. A recent study of 8800 participants established that a large percentage of people diagnosed as depressed and placed on anti-depressant drugs were NOT clinically depressed. They were actually just experiencing unresolved grief due to a compilation of prior losses in their lives.
"No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it." ~ Albert Einstein
Because our society focuses so much attention on pretending that "It's all good!", spouting inspirational and positive cliches at one another (specifically on social media sites) and avoiding things that appear negative, messy or complicated at all costs, many survivors simply shut down and never make it past "survival mode". Those who do, acknowledge they're in crisis, and are wise enough to seek the assistance of an experienced guide who can help them navigate the grieving process.
Grief is NOT natural!
"Emotional Positioning System"
Despite what "they" say, it's NOT natural to feel bad!
All life-forms in this dimension are naturally hardwired to avoid pain and seek pleasure. If something doesn't feel good to us, our first NATURAL instinct is to remove or protect ourselves from the condition or circumstances that appear responsible for the discord. This is our "Emotional Positioning System" (EPS) in action.
Our EPS operates similarly to our technology's Global Positioning System (GPS) which lets us know where we are in this dimension and how far we have to go and which route to take in order to arrive at our chosen destination; All of which is first established by our desires and intentions.
Just like a GPS, our EPS also lets others know (whether or not they want to acknowledge it) exactly where we stand in life, where we're going and which direction we're headed in. Individuals with higher than average intuitive abilities, can use the history signatures embedded in your EPS to read your "emotional location", similar to the way the GPS system on your phone tracks your whereabouts. Only, psychics are able to do it by simply using their gifts. That's why they're able to tell you where you've been, where you are and where you're going, with some level of accuracy! This is also how mediums, shamans and mystics are able to serve as a bridge between worlds. (Once a soul has been created, whether they're considered dead or alive, their EPS is ALWAYS active!)
When we feel bad, it's our EPS trying to tell us we're NOT headed in the right direction in life. When we feel REALLY bad, like we do when we're grieving, it's like tripping the "Alarm" button which is trying to warn us that we're really NOT not going to like what's up ahead! That bad feeling is our cue to stop doing whatever we're doing (thinking or feeling) before it's too late! But, no thanks to "Free Will", most ignore all the warning signs and blindly proceed full steam ahead, with total disregard to exercise their natural right to FEEL GOOD!
Despite what the experts say, feeling bad is NOT our natural state of being! HAPPINESS, PEACE and JOY IS!
Grief is just our "Emotional Guidance System's" way of getting our attention to let us know we're not only way off-course, but that our "WHITE WOLVES ARE IN CONFLICT WITH THEIR SHADOWS" again!
Perhaps in some twisted, self-sabotaging way, those who repeatedly ignore their EPS's alarm system actually ARE trying to feel good, but have unwittingly become addicted to the endorphins released by the brain during a dramatic or painful situation; and may even unconsciously seek out, manifest or attract even MORE reasons to trip the alarm system!
"The principal function of endorphins is to INHIBIT the transmission of pain signals! They also produce FEELINGS of EUPHORIA, very similar to that produced by OPIOIDS!"
(Thus, the body's defense system is desperately trying to restore itself back to its NATURAL state of FEELING GOOD!)
Wolf Medicine
The Internal Conflict
Are YOU lost in the Wilderness?
Are YOU lost in the Wilderness?
"The Battle Between White Wolf and her Shadow"
(If you wish to make sense of the above analogies, please read this story located in "Story Tellers".)
"... A grandmother is teaching her granddaughter about life. "There's a fierce battle is going on inside of me," she said to the girl. "It is a terrible fight between two warriors, both who ar
"The Battle Between White Wolf and her Shadow"
(If you wish to make sense of the above analogies, please read this story located in "Story Tellers".)
"... A grandmother is teaching her granddaughter about life. "There's a fierce battle is going on inside of me," she said to the girl. "It is a terrible fight between two warriors, both who are actually on the same side!...
... If I become wounded, White Wolf will place herself between me and the situation and cast her Shadow upon my ability to make decisions, to protect me so I have time to meditate and recover."
Click on the button below to...
Are YOU lost in the Wilderness?
Are YOU lost in the Wilderness?
Are YOU lost in the Wilderness?
Find out what happens when you follow your Shadow Wolf into the Wilderness!
In the chaos and confusion of today's world, it would seem that everyone's White Wolf is in battle with their Shadows!
Without White Wolf by its side, a Shadow Wolf can easily overpower and control those who they were meant to protect! In a state of disconnect, thi
Find out what happens when you follow your Shadow Wolf into the Wilderness!
In the chaos and confusion of today's world, it would seem that everyone's White Wolf is in battle with their Shadows!
Without White Wolf by its side, a Shadow Wolf can easily overpower and control those who they were meant to protect! In a state of disconnect, this causes many to behave irrationally- unconsciously obeying commands dictated to them by their Shadow Wolves.
When this happens, Shadow Wolf will lure the bereaved into the Wilderness, as far away from Great Spirit and White Wolf as possible; seemingly just to toy with them in a variety of ways! None of which are productive, proactive or healthy!
STOP hurting! START healing!
Are YOU lost in the Wilderness?
STOP hurting! START healing!
"Life's challenges don't wait,
WHY are you?!"
By now, you've probably realized that time does NOT heal all things! (If it did, then why the hell are you still suffering and hurting inside?)
It's really about what YOU do WITH that time that determines how you're going to feel after the dust settles from life's blows, challenges and hardships!
"Life's challenges don't wait,
WHY are you?!"
By now, you've probably realized that time does NOT heal all things! (If it did, then why the hell are you still suffering and hurting inside?)
It's really about what YOU do WITH that time that determines how you're going to feel after the dust settles from life's blows, challenges and hardships!
STOP hurting! START healing!
Let the courage, strength & wisdom of an experienced "End of the Trail"
Shamanic Spirit Guide
RESTORE your INNER-PEACE!
(It is strongly recommended that you commit to at least 4 weekly sessions, back to back, in order to achieve the best results!)
Click on the button below to arrange an appointment TODAY!
The Shaman's Forge
If you're at the "End of the Trail" you need
POWERFUL, ACCURATE INSIGHTS & DIRECTION
designed to RESTORE your INNER PEACE & HAPPINESS!